'teens that got through depression, what helped you get over it? I got myself to a relatively healthy lifestyle and i feel better, but i still relapse to strong depression and suicidal thoughts for about 4-6 days every month or so, really messes with my productivity and daily life. What advice would you give me to stop having these episodes?
i have no one to talk to this about. this is going to be a long and personal post about my previous childhood trauma and what my mother put me through. i’ve come to terms with it all and partially repaired my relationship with her, we live a plane ride away from eachother but i never visit her due to my trauma but i have very long and frequent phone calls with her for some context. ive never fully forgiven her because to be honest i can’t, but ive accepted it and dont hold any malice towards her. i just got off the phone with her and she dropped a lot on me. i need to let it out im shocked and upset and its just a lot. i need to talk about it where no one knows me personally.
i was talking with my mom today and she starts crying when talking about how her stepdad has dementia and isn’t coping well with the home he’s been put into. i deemed this as odd because she never had a good relationship with him or liked him too much but of course i was asking if she was okay and what the matter was. she’s talking about how she’s struggling with it because her mom needs so much support in this time and her job is taking a toll on her for it etc etc. again she’s sobbing a lot and i felt like it wasn’t the full truth. she drops it on me that she wants to leave my stepdad and i agree, he’s a horrible man and i’ve never liked him. i console her through the call and tell her it’s okay and she needs to leave if she’s been feeling like this for years, she told me she cries so much because of how much she wants to leave and im getting pretty upset too because it’s sad hearing your mom sob to you when you can’t go see her or anything. she starts apologising to me for what she did to me and what she put me through. she used to take a lot of drugs, opiates, meth, and herion to be exact, i used to find her passed out or if she wasn’t passed out she’d be incomprehensibly talking to me and it was scary, it was genuinely like a homeless crack head who babbles at you on the street except i was 8/9 and it was my own mother in my own house. it deeply traumatised me, she used to forget to pick me up from school, she crashed the car three times with me in it because she was driving on drugs, she could barely take care of my two year old brothers too. it was a very scary and traumatic time for me that i had to do 7 years of trauma therapy through a psychologist. i’m leaving out details but just know it was bad and deeply painful. a few years after she started doing drugs she moved away to be closer to her family to get help with my little brothers and my step dad moved with her of course so it was just me with my dad which was wonderful, i love my dad so much and look up to him a lot. so she was apologising non stop for doing drugs then leaving me a year later. she drops the bomb that she wants to leave my step dad and i agree that she should do that. she goes on talking more and more about it all and she gets mad about my dad or something i cant quite remember and talks about how he always used her drug usage against her to make her feel bad and paint her as the bad guy. which i mean yeah its true you should never involve children in your junkie shit. and then she went on to drop something on me.
my dad has a chronic condition, CRPS, look it up. permanent nerve pain that’s caused for no external factors it’s your brain playing tricks but the pain feels 100% real; he described it as it felt like someone was slicing his arm open with a box cutter slowly and deeply. i had to live with my mom for 6 months while she was pregnant with my brothers because my dad was going through too much pain. during the start of month two living with her she got hospitalised due to pregnancy complications and i was only living with my stepdad and i hated it cause he didn’t treat me like his kid he treated me like a roommate and i was mad and sad because i missed my dad and my mom. well, i wasn’t actually living with her because of his CRPS at the time. she told me that he was fucked up on drugs. this has destroyed me. obviously he is clean now because i wouldn’t have guessed if i didn’t think too deeply and i was 7/8 at the time. but now it gets kind of complicated.
i have memories of the period before i went to live with my mom. my stepdad would always come to my dads house and he’s always been a suspicious guy. he was actually my dads sisters friend before he dated my mom so that adds another layer, my mom KNEW what he was like and my dad knew him in and out before my mom started dating him. he was suspicious and i had bad vibes even as a little kid. i asked my mom straight up if my stepdad has anything to do with getting my dad addicted, and she said yes.
post is too long so i’ll continue in the comments even doe snca
i've been looking into the bible after having a bout of skepticism towards the second half of the new testament, mainly centered around paul. i understand it is understood that he saw Jesus in a vision on his trip to damascus with a few unnamed witnesses to the event which caused him to renounce judaisim and embrace Christianity. while i would like to take him at his word, i find issue with the fact that the testimony of these witnesses isn't included in the bible and we have to rely on paul's word alone. i'm wondering if any of the Christians on this board can give an explanation for why his account is taken as seriously as the other apostles
Me (19F) and my sister have this theory that during world wars all the hot and respectable men died whilst the ugly ass draft dodgers had offspring AKA current men
>take de fuggin BEEEEPEEEE SAAAR < every time i see people ask about relationships online i see these two kinds of comments that really bother me >she's the love of my life, she supports everything I do <I thought she was the love of my life, she supported everything I do, then she suddenly dumped me (and got with my brother) Bothers me because it makes me think, there's no way you can tell if she actually likes you or if she's giving you platitudes long enough to execute her escape plan (and immediately get with another guy to feel protected from you) Or <2weeks of showing interest and then ghosting why are foids like this and what is a real nigga like myself supposed to do
Since literally middle school (im in college rn btw), I have seen more and more instances of girls who are either fixated or straight up obsessed with gay people or gay sex. It genuinely irritates me to no end. When i was in 6th grade, there was a girl that I could only describe as a protopoon who was possibly the most annoying female-adjacent creature walking the earth. All she talked about was fucking tranime, and how she loved the idea of her favorite male characters being Homos. I had no idea about my self identity so lowk she was almost like a friend to me because I was a sperg loner until like 8th grade, but she literally referred to us once as looking like fuckbuddies, IN MIDDLESCHOOL, and that was about all I remember of that because my poon sensor kicked in and made me steer clear. Every other girl who liked anime from middle school all through highschool had a similar thing, exept not so retarded and abbrasive. If they weren't talking to other faggot-loving femcel autists about how obsessed they were about their gay fanfic crushes and how wet it made them, they were fantasizing about poons and gaylords in every other form of media. Its as if every girl who manages to dodge healthy male interaction from ages 12 to 18 instantly becomes obsessed with watching two twinks eat shit out of each other. Obviously some girls were more annoying with this shit than others, and I generally get along with and can hold conversations amicably with gays and lesbians and trans ppl, pretty much everyphono, but god damn when they can't shut themselves up about it i get like retard cortisol spikes.
So basically, towards the end of highschool, I met who is currently my GF, we've been going for 4 yrs now, and I love everything about her, mostly that I feel like I have a chud sadness support system, but one of her interests centers around gay literature and media, like its as if every 2nd book she picks up has some gay couple at the forefront of the plot somehow, and she admitted to me a few yrs ago that she occasionally reads BL shit and has a vested interest in general faggotry. Every time she goes on some SNCAfest abt how awesome the gays are in this newest issue of the book she's reading, it makes me cringe, but I love her and I look over it because I know I value what we have over what I find cringeworthy, but I even have FAMILY (my older sister) who's into shit like this, my older sister spent like half of her teenage life dressing her self up like she was going to the national lesbian convention and the other half trying to be the family liason for gay SNCA shit that no family member wants to hear. To sum it up, I have been surrounded by women and girls who do nothing but obsess over gay shit more than any actual gay person I've ever met, and I just want it to stop so I can love and enjoy my gf without feeling like a second-hand faggot because of the kind of stuff she reads and then talks to me abt.
I know this shit is SNCA caca rambling but what have u guys experienced in terms of shit like this?
I fucked up. I didn't really think much of it so I kept taking more and more LSA and doing it more often, and I felt nothing these past few months. No feelings whatsoever. Guess I'd let you know, since its not really what I signed up for at first. I used to get slight migraines when I was younger (this isn't making much sense is it?) but to me it was a positive. My brain is like an engine I think, it's more concerning if I hear nothing when its supposed to be running. So I started experimenting. First with painkillers, then moved up to kratom. (this is going to be long if that matters btw) <time space Move forward and I'm starting to use psychedelics for some reason and they're fun for a while, but nothing gets solved. You think that some part of the puzzle will click when you take them and in the moment it certainly feels that way but really they're not doing shit! But they gave me some buzz. I like that. If you can get your rocks off on alcohol good for you. All lsa ended up doing was slowing my thought processes, and I didn't even notice! For months I didn't notice. When I looked at shit I did before, the entries in my "diary" none of them made sense, really. I thought past me was wrong just because I didn't get it anymore. My engine stalled. <readability space Then these past two weeks I started smiling for no reason. It was stupid, I thought, but your body is always a little more ahead of the curve. Then it took off this week. First a little pressure behind the eyes, a little confusion. Up until then I was just a facsimile of myself. That wasn't really me. An Accura without an engine is just scrap metal, no jmatter how similar it looks. I caught myself then a couple times spacing out for hours at a time thinking about killing people. Yesterday I even dreamed about it. Something clicked "oh yeah, that's how I used to be, I used to do that all the time" I realized something was wrong. I'd been empty, my head was totally empty. Thinking was like turning the key in the contact and hearing the starter engine struggle a bit, then give up. I wondered if I'd become retarded, well I had gone retarded, but it was temporary. <fax space Until earlier today, suddenly the transmission popped into gear and I drive again! That was scary! Holy shit I became fully retarded because of LSA. I was drawing little diagrams of the modulus 11 of functions shaped like the tree of life. Retard CCRU shit. That must've been because I was trying to get back to normal, because I knew I used to be able to do math, but because the engine broke down I made those retarded charts instead. I was stuck doomscrolling through fucking jewtube for hours, I got the full goyim experience. <but before I go I haven't enjoyed the sharty in a while, posting has slowed down a lot and the sit is filled with unfunny spam. At least in the past bots used to be something on top of the user experience of shitposting, not every single reppey! There are still some of yinns left here so I'll give a little gem: Every guy worth something is Evil. Maybe thats why the elites are, but I'm convinced. What separates you from the goyim isn't anything good or wholesome, unless you're a goy after all. Think about it for a second. Do you want J Epstein justice? Do you want the courts to blueball you with slaps on the wrists for all the elite pedophiles? No! Of course not! You want them hanged. I do. I'd like to see prince Andrews liver without the rest of him attached. His black, alcoholic liver. I want his skin to get ripped off his face and sold on ebay. But think about it some more, does the justice really matter? Lets face it. The fantasy of the 80's action hero isn't that he's cool, or that he's a hero, it's that he can execute people without repercussion. Imagine Falling Down, Taxi Driver, that's what you should be. The goyim can be appeased by J Epstein getting a month of probation. The goyim are perfectly content if prince Andrew only gets exiled to snca island. The goyim clap when a "youth" gets juvie for stabbing two children. >but that makes you no better! Yeah sure. But listen, wouldn't we rather have lynchings back? Public torture and executions? Would they have even attempted little saint james then? Or would they have pissed themselves in fear? Do you really want to go your entire life without beating the fuck out of someone? Do you even know how good it feels?
