As a kid i was always one of the skinniest in class. I remember graduating as a senior at 17 weighting a bit less than 50 kgs (110 lbs) being 173 cm (5'8).
Could being skinny have stunted my growth? Now that i'm an adult and i've gained a bit more weight, i can't stop thinking about it. For reference, my father is the same height as me and my mother is 170 cm.
Feel free to ask for extra info, i will answer as best as i can.
first of i don't know what the fuck happened to me i used to straight asf wasn't until i was 16 or 17 i noticed i started developing feelings for some guys i was confused the only thing i can think of that made me this way was all the time and hours i had put into vrchat and some of my old friend groups as i was hanging out with a lot of femboys which ever since i've been thinking off femboys more than women. for the love of god stay away from vrchat please it'll rot your mind. if you have any advice on how i can get better please tell me because all i think about is getting dominated i fucking hate myself for letting this happen
I turned 23 a couple of months ago and it’s truly beginning to dawn on me that I can’t turn the clock back. You see, I was 16 when the COVID lockdowns began. Back then it felt like the whole world was ahead of me. Truthfully, I hoped something like COVID would happen every day before school: some sort of catastrophe that would allow me to stay home for months.
Well, like everything else in my life, it was handed to me. I slowly became a NEET. I didn’t get good enough grades to enter the university I wanted. I’ve been in and out of community college for years, not knowing what to study. After years of infrequent employment and college enrollment, I have to face up to the fact that I no longer have forever.
It has been seven years since I was 16. In seven years I will be 30. In two years, I will be 25 - the age in which physical aging begins. My physical peak is rapidly approaching, and my adolescent youth lost. I am truly no longer a “kid”.
I never went out with my high school friends, we stayed inside and played video games online. I never did all the normal teenager things I see teenagers do when I go to the mall. It hurts a little. No, it hurts a lot, that I never did those things. It hurt when I WAS in high school, seeing those normal teens do normal teen things. Seven years later, it hurts less but… it still hurts.
But I’m not decrepit. I only obtained the right to purchase alcohol two years ago. Two. Just two. Am I young? No. But I sure as hell ain’t old. I can never redo high school. I may never redo college. I may never have a “normal” college experience. Of course it hurts. It hurts I wasn’t a normal kid, but an autistic nerd. Of course I am filled with regret.
But I need to learn to look forward, not back, because that’s what I’ve been doing for the past five years. It’s felt like life has slipped from my fingers, but I’m not barred from it. I just need to accept the mistakes I made, and learn. I can never be a kid again, but I can be an adult.
Those movies and TV shows I watched over the years, with the “normal” high school and college experiences… only the privileged get those things. Only they get those “memories”. I may never have that, but maybe I can have something new. Something that isn’t based off a Hollywood fantasy of youth. So I accept it. I’m not a kid anymore and I never will be again. It doesn’t matter how depressing my life has been, I will just look forward.
I miss my online friend. He was the kindest, most patient person I've ever met, and I'll never ever meet someone else like him. I'll probably never have another friend again period, because the chances of me meeting someone who's not only able to put up with me, but who also genuinely enjoys talking with me are slim to none. Even online, because I still don't know how to make friends. This is one of the reasons I need to kill myself
My grandfather: has BWC, was DarkTriadmaxxed giga, all girls wanted him My father: has BWC, all girls wanted him in the high school, my even my mom confirmed he had BWC My brother: probably also has BWC considering him having multiple girlfriends in his life, all while being neet living in one apartment with his parents Me: TWP clittycel, I'm not even sure if my pipi is 10cm long erected. Why so? I'm the most physically active in my entire family, including generations prior. I seem to have normal testerone. I have masturbated, maybe that's the reason? I don't know. I understand I will never have sex with a woman, because no woman wants a TWP, they need ASWP at least. I'm not even ugly or short, but it's fucking over. They buying fucking 22cm dildos, and even average guys can't satisfy them. At that point I have no hope. I want erase all disgusting shitskin subhumans and faggots from my homeland Europa and make my race great again. Jannies please don't delete my thread, I need answers
