hi my name my favorite colour is red

Teens, I'm thinking about signing SVO contract
(Russian side,
Don't actually hate ukr, jusr tired idk)
I am:
>have no constant job
>have no gf ofc, tried, false
>hate my family and wish they all die
>secretly hate all my "friends" here
>don't have anything I'm good at
>thinking about mass 'ing
>watch gore for a laugh.
>don't have anyone I can truly open up to.
>always angry or annoyed
>successfully pretend smiling and act like I’m one of the normies.

I've been sleeping two hours a day for the past two month, skiping university classes.
Thought i can fit into normies, but seems not…
I no wanna just kms…
Maybe war is the way out for me?
A place just right for a psycho like me.
I will most likely be disposed of, but im not much worry about…
What do you think?

i dont know what to do, im a procrastinator and on top of that i might be autistic (i don't remember it properly but i was diagnosed with autism as a caca), it have gotten to the point that i delay taking my meds or even getting out of bed or eating. Half of my life i've been living in my imaginary world and daydreaming or something. I hate myself for being such a selfish little fuck and just hate myself in general, but at the same time i often think that im above everyone else. I get mood swings very often, same with interacting with people: i can't handle being lonely, but at the same time i feel like talking with people is unbearable for me. I started biting myself just to relieve and to punish myself like some retarded nigger too and i cant control it. I think the only thing that is stopping me from killing myself is the fact that my family will be depressed if i ACKK, what should i do?

Having sex that isn’t solely for the purpose of reproduction is the same as gooning

Im currently in highschool, been gymceling for a few years (albiet results only in the past year) and doing skincare and such, im not terribly ugly but still been rejected 13 times with no luck. Started talking to a girl at the start of this year and we have surprisingly similar interests and shes been giving me tons of IOIs. I get her number and ask for her instagram because why the hell not. Look at the profile and she is a total faggot, he/they pronouns and some nonsense nigger posts. Fucking hilarious. Cant decide if i should just quit while im ahead or try to kill the faggotry (probably impossible)

these are just the facts according to the bible bro

I'll cut to the chase, I wasn't attracted to men before, but I am to some extent now (to a point where most of the irl nsfw pictures and videos I have saved across my devices is irl gay sex).
EPI'd myself at a prepubescent age and due to having a lot of friends who were girls in elementary/early middle school developed a habit of joking around about being gay and whatnot (very embarrassing). This in combination with being a no life social retard led to lots of gooning to drawings of traps.
The problem is that I don't think I've really felt any attraction towards men irl up until like 16-17, which was 2-3 years ago and said attraction has only grown since. Could a change in sexuality be possible via gooning?

In high school I was in a friend group of a bunch of others who were mostly nerds and not really players or had a bunch of attention from girls or even sought them out. now this cohort is all in uni different colleges and i see online many of them are on their third or fouth gf meanwhile i have not even had one nor do i think i will have one because i just haven't found the will to try

>Come take a seat anon for your penis inspection.
>The new Moid Act 2026 requires all men to have their penis measured for the safety of women
>But don't worry, there'll be no need for castration if your penis reaches the minimum size (6 inches)

Do you have a journal? How do you start one?
Well, obviously I can just write stuff in a .txt file but sometimes the circumstances do not allow for me to pull out my phone and start typing.
And If I arrive home most of what I thought about gets lost plus I generally do not like repeating myself.
Is there any substitution for a physical journal? What do you think?