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So I've been dealing with this strange habit/coping mechanism lately where whenever I feel effeminate or low confidence I just start masturbating to cuckolding porn but importantly I only ever self insert as the bull and try to find only videos from that pov. It's actually worked pretty well. The thing about confidence is that it literally improves everything else in your life. You don't have to go through some stoic mental gymnastics to reduce your sensitivity to pain and discomfort because those things just happen naturally. You don't have to worry about what's right and wrong because your testosterone and drive to dominate will take care of that for you. Your mind doesn't wander and lose its train of thought because the only thing that matters is your superiority. I feel more intelligent and experience a level of mental clarity that I never even expected to be possible. It just feels so natural. For context, this is coming from someone who used to be so porn addicted I could only get off to the idea of being a gay bottom. I've even penetrated myself with various objects to fulfill that fantasy,and used to self insert as the cuck in that genre of pornography. Now I've taken the reins and find myself wondering why it ever felt so wrong? It feels like my body is finally doing all the work for me. It's not even that hard. Once you fall into the groove of valuing yourself first and wanting to dominate, you don't even entertain the idea of failure. It feels like living in a dream that just never ends. Someone slap me awake before I become a psychopathic narcissist.
making this because the board is always flooded with these anyway. i need advice because i am stuck in the most predictable loop and it is ruining my head. basically i have this one specific fetish that is honestly completely deranged. it is not illegal per se and it is not gay but it is definitely degenerate. every time i goon to it, i feel like a total creep immediately after and decide to take a break. i stay clean for maybe 1 or 2 days and the post-nut clarity makes me think i am cured. during that break, my brain resets enough that i can literally get off to the most basic vanilla shit imaginable. i start thinking i can just be a normal person again. so i goon to the regular vanilla shit. but then, without fail, the boredom or the itch kicks in and i spirial right back down to that same specific degenerate fetish. i cannot stop the cycle. it is like my brain is wired to crave the extreme stuff the second i feel slightly comfortable.
>ask out a girl i dont know >get called a pervert (OH MY GAWD MOIDS JUST WANT TO FUCK ANY RANDOM WOMAN) >ask out a girl i know >get called a pervert (OH MY GAWD MOIDS JUST THINK ABOUT SEX ALL DAY YOU CANT BE FRIENDS WITH THEM) >ask to be set up with someone >get called a pervert (OH MY GAWD MOIDS WANT TO FUCK ALL MY PRECIOUS FRIENDS) just blow my shit clean off
how do you absolutely wreck your body or go schizo? not dying per say, but a way you'll be noticeably unwell. nobaldi really notices me and my parents prevent me from seeking help so i need to convince them o algo
A girl on a party essentially gave me the most obvious clue that she wants me to ask her out on a date and gave me the time she is free this week and my dumbass didn't know the exact time i am free so i had to check my phone and by then some of my friends who are like a league ahead of me when it comes to girls appeared and i was embarrassed to tell her the time i want her to meet me (because she wanted to go to classes with me, what was i supposed to say? meet me at x and y so we can attend a class only i need to attend?),i felt like i would look like a retard in front of everyone <retarded chud space i fumbled girls before, i am only good with girls when im 1 on 1 with them not like this <retarded chud space I fumbled girls before but i feel like this one is GENERATIONAL please tell me you guys did something like this before it's still haunting me even as a few days have passed since the event
I have nowhere else to vent about this because I have no person to listen.
I am alone and I feel like death. I wish that I had love in my life and someone to talk to but there is nothing. I do not have any hope of love or human bonding anymore, there is nothing for me in this world.
How alone are other people on this imageboard? I no longer have any online connections either, I have never gone to a party in my life or had a girlfriend, I am khhv. The few male friends I had either betrayed me greatly or have not spoken to me in a long time. Loneliness is destroying me but I do not feel like escaping it anymore. I am the type of person who understand defeat and this life has defeated me.
When every single attempt ends in failure I cannot believe that it could ever be different, recently something happened to me that has officially decapitated my faith in this existence, I won't bother explaining here though.
I am going to die alone and nobody will ever have loved me. I do not just mean a females sexual attraction or anything, I mean everyone. They have no care for me, I thought they could be similar to me but I was wrong. Males are just as bad as females when it comes to treachery and selfishness.
No one understands me, no one can help me, nobody will ever be in the same boat as me, nobody cares about what happens to me, it would feel better being six feet under.
