recently I've felt very depressed, I feel like I don't know myself anymore. I feel hallow.

I feel like I am not myself anymore. I go to school and I have people who I am friendly with but I still feel absolutely alone, like I can never relate to this people, they all care for their short term pleasures and other shit I don't care for. And I feel like I'm wearing a mask out of some weird primal fear of social rejection, and so subconsciously I've created a fake person that interacts with everyone at my school. But I would also say that there is a true side of me but it feels lost like its hidden somewhere deep in my psyche, even now where I am alone in my room, it doesn't seem to come back. Is this ego death or is this something bigger?

this is a cry for help, I have nowhere/nobody else to ask for help. and I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I feel numb

i spent two years trolling some 'cord and forum and now the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel freaks who run them are obsessed with me. i ran multiple alts and always had a vpn on, but somehow these literal schizos managed to pull my actual mobile data ip.i was careless a few times and leaked it.

even though that usually points to a completely different city, they’re claiming they know exactly where i live. these freaks have nothing but free time, but i'm 99 percent sure they can't actually dox me cuz i take opsec pretty seriously and i live in europe.

also the idea of being doxxed isn't even what scares me, it’s just that i accidentally left enough of a personal silhouette for them to actually target. now the attacks feel way too close to home because they aren't just yelling at an anonymous user anymore. it’s honestly depressing and it makes me feel like complete shit.

I can't get a job because I don't have a DL, can't get a DL because I can't get a job. My family refuses to let me go to driving school. The only way that'll change is if I just be a NEET until I'm 25 (unhirable without experience) because then I won't have to get a DL.
It has gotten to the point where I'm genuinely suicidal. There are food shortages because my family is so retarded to the point where they spend d all their paychecks as soon as they get them.
It's to the point where I'm considering suicide because it feels like all I could ever do is consume product, get excited for next product, shitpost here and then off myself because my life will not get better.
Please somebody just let me know anything I can do about this. Please just tell me if there's a way for me to get a DL.

i think i haven't felt genuine happiness in years. i hate this world and myself, but despite the people that care for me idk if i can't tell anyone about how i feel. i just don't know what to do man

I'm a bpdemon who hurt and pushed away the few people whom held me dear, including my gf loved me and was way too patient and gave me way too many chances. I am all alone all day every day, and the only reason I didn't do what I want to do is because I know my parents would be devastated even though we don't get along most of the time because of my short temper and irritability. I fucking hate this life.

"just put yourself out there"
Its kind of a catchphrase for normies but i just realized i dont know what it means
I have no idea where to meet women (much less how to escalate without another dude getting in my business)
No arrow I look like that

how is everybaldi doing today?

How do i deal with ethnic self hatred, recently discovered im 1/8 jewish and i cant even go to israel since i do not qualify under the law of return to leave my shithole eastern european country. My whole life i held antisemitic beliefs and they stuck around. I cant accept who i am, i constantly think about it and get in a bad unproductive mood, what do i do 'teens.

>the release from chains and the turning away from shadows toward the images themselves and toward the light, this is the ascent from the underground into the sun, toward those animals and plants there, and toward the brilliance of the sun, which dazzles so that it is hard to look upon, but the reflections in the waters of that which is divine, and the shadows of true beings can be seen there, rather than looking only at the shadows of images cast not by the sun, but by some other such light — another compared to the sun
This is what happens when you go outside and stop gooning all day on your computer nusois…

Just finished my FUTA goon sesh AMA