the first step is just to stop giving a shit. accept that it might simply be fucking over. there are tons of dudes out there who technically "made it" and they’re still miserable as hell. they hide in the bathroom jerking off to tranny porn, or they get dragged through brutal divorce rapes and spend the next decade broke and bitter. the fairytale narrative is mostly bullshit.
and statistically speaking, a big chunk of men don’t reproduce anyway. around a third historically. that’s just how sexual selection works. so if that’s the system, what exactly is stopping you or me from ending up in that 30%? nothing. people will feed you the same empty motivational bs like "just work harder" that advice assumes everyone starts on the same playing field, which is obviously retarded. telling a guy with bad genetics and a rough life to just grind harder is like telling an abused dog to suddenly become a fearless guard dog. it’s not how psychology works. for the love of god, ignore what they say, youll save yourself a massive amount of pointless suffering.
instead of rotting in bitterness, you might as well try to change how you relate to the suffering itself. if you tie your entire self-worth to getting a girlfriend, you’re basically signing up for endless mental torture if it doesn’t happen. you need a framework to actually reduce your suffering. stop chasing potential gains or fleeting rewards and focus on what keeps you from being miserable. make minimizing suffering your priority.
call it buddhismmaxxing or whatever, the point is you need some system or approach to navigate life without constantly destroying yourself.