after about two months of vaping nigger weed everyday due to my extreme depression my spiritual filter goes down and my mind starts getting invaded by demons and pulled into hell dimensions (THC-A is infamous for doing this in many trip reports). in this state I'm forced to perceive the spiritual realm and its churning screaming darkness and malice, absolute garbage and filth beyond all imagination stretching out into infinity. the first time I went into psychosis I was swarmed by literally hundreds of demonic spirits pretending to be fae and aliens who tried to make me humiliate and kill myself. mentally perceiving Hell feels like my mind is being taken by oily darkness, paranoia, and anger and I eventually go into violent psychosis and have to go to the hospital.
Lilith tried to make me humiliate myself with sexual fetish shit and fall in love with her. Samael tried to gaslight me that he was going to kill me with electrical fires and arc flashes. Sophia tried to convince me that her and her legion of fallen aeons were coming from the Outer Darkness to consume our universe. Lucifer and his worshippers relentlessly work to unmake creation. they all tried to make me hurt and destroy the things I love, humiliate myself, and kill myself because they live in a dark void and being destructive shitheads is the only entertainment they enjoy in their infinite seething.
I've seen visions of what the demons are and what they did when they had agency. Heaven obliterated into infinite nuclear slag by warfare. demons that became amalgamates and hive minds and consumed everything in their worlds while taking immense pleasure in torturing all the souls they consumed. cloisters of demons who have erased entire universes and use technology to try to hack and destroy any other things they come into contact with. the overwhelming majority of sapient life is unequivocally evil and most societies end up trying to unmake reality as their endgame because they're too fucking evil and stupid to ever achieve any sort of peace or balance. hence why the default destination for a soul after physical death is Hell: unless you prove yourself to actively want and strive to be a benevolent being aligned with God your inherently dangerous nature makes you a threat to any kind of safe and stable afterlife.
