/soy/ - Soyjaks » Thread #18895610

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:01:56 No.18895610 View View Original Report

Quoted By: >>18896076

New 'toss

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:02:33 No.18895621 Report

MADIE PANNING APROVE

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:02:55 No.18895629 Report

Quoted By: >>18895635 >>18895647

this is true btw

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:03:00 No.18895630 Report

er owns you faggot

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:03:10 No.18895635 Report

Quoted By: >>18895653

>>18895629
samefagging nigger

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:03:25 No.18895638 Report

moids will cry about hypergamy but be misogynist incels geg
total moid death

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:03:43 No.18895643 Report

femcels will kill all the moids

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:03:52 No.18895645 Report

>calling women "foids"

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:04:17 No.18895647 Report

>>18895629
disregard what i just said I EAT CADO'S BOOTY

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:04:35 No.18895649 Report

>calls women foids
>racist
>has a criminal record
>calls girls hiplets
>misogynist

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:04:45 No.18895653 Report

>>18895635
>accusing someone of samefagging while only quoting one post

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:05:07 No.18895658 Report

>>>18895629 (You)
>samefagging nigger

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:06:49 No.18895681 Report

Quoted By: >>18895686 >>18895694

YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT DATING?
WAKE UP.
THE ALGORITHM HAS SPENT 11 YEARS TURNING HUMAN ATTRACTION INTO A SPREADSHEET. EVERY COMMENT SECTION IS A CONTROLLED EXPERIMENT. EVERY INFLUENCER IS READING FROM THE SAME PROCUREMENT DOCUMENT.
"MALE HYPERGAMY."
"FEMALE HYPERGAMY."
WHO BENEFITS FROM THIS DIVISION?
THE STATISTICS ARE CHERRY-PICKED. THE GRAPHS ARE UNLABELED. THE SOURCE IS A SCREENSHOT OF ANOTHER SCREENSHOT.
AND YET YOU PEOPLE KEEP CITING THEM LIKE THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
THEY HAVE YOU MEASURING ROMANCE IN PERCENTILES WHILE THE ADVERTISING INDUSTRY SELLS YOU THE SOLUTION.

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:07:03 No.18895686 Report

Quoted By: >>18895707

>>18895681
fed

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:07:40 No.18895694 Lasted under a minute Report

>>18895681
hi dinosaur, 4cuck pol get boring?

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:08:22 No.18895707 Report

>>18895686
FED?
INTERESTING CHOICE OF WORDS.
YOU SEE A MAN QUESTIONING THE OFFICIAL HYPERGAMY NARRATIVE AND YOUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO ACCUSE HIM OF FEDERAL AFFILIATION.
TEXTBOOK DEFLECTION.
I HAVE NEVER MET A FEDERAL AGENT WHO WASN'T A FEDERAL AGENT. CURIOUS.
WHY IS YOUR MEDIA PENDING APPROVAL?
WHO IS APPROVING IT?
APPROVING IT FOR WHOM?
YOU CALL ME FED WHILE SITTING BEHIND AN ANONYMOUS IMAGEBOARD ACCOUNT WITH A PENDING MEDIA SUBMISSION.
THE PROJECTION IS OFF THE CHARTS.
I DON'T WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT.
I WORK FOR THE STAPLER.
AND THE STAPLER HAS NO JURISDICTIONAL LIMITS.

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:08:58 No.18895716 Report

Quoted By: >>18895727 >>18895728

>>>18895686
>FED?
>INTERESTING CHOICE OF WORDS.
>YOU SEE A MAN QUESTIONING THE OFFICIAL HYPERGAMY NARRATIVE AND YOUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO ACCUSE HIM OF FEDERAL AFFILIATION.
>TEXTBOOK DEFLECTION.
>I HAVE NEVER MET A FEDERAL AGENT WHO WASN'T A FEDERAL AGENT. CURIOUS.
>WHY IS YOUR MEDIA PENDING APPROVAL?
>WHO IS APPROVING IT?
>APPROVING IT FOR WHOM?
>YOU CALL ME FED WHILE SITTING BEHIND AN ANONYMOUS IMAGEBOARD ACCOUNT WITH A PENDING MEDIA SUBMISSION.
>THE PROJECTION IS OFF THE CHARTS.
>I DON'T WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT.
>I WORK FOR THE STAPLER.
>AND THE STAPLER HAS NO JURISDICTIONAL LIMITS.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:09:51 No.18895727 Report

>>18895716
arrow makes it green so you look like that

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:09:52 No.18895728 Report

Quoted By: >>18895737 >>18895751

>>18895716
A GREEN MAN IN SUNGLASSES.
VERY SUBTLE.
DO YOU THINK I DON'T RECOGNIZE A FEDERAL MEMETIC DELIVERY SYSTEM WHEN I SEE ONE?
THE GREEN FILTER IS A CLASSIC COUNTERINTELLIGENCE TECHNIQUE. MAKE THE GLOWIE LOOK LIKE A MEME SO NOBODY QUESTIONS HIS PRESENCE.
BUT YOU MADE ONE MISTAKE.
YOU USED THE WORD GLOWIE.
THAT MEANS YOU KNOW WHAT A GLOWIE IS.
WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE BEEN BRIEFED.
WHICH MEANS THIS ENTIRE THREAD IS NOW A CLOSED-DOOR CONGRESSIONAL HEARING.
I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOUR GIF.
I AM AFRAID OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE GIF STOPS LOOPING.
47 MILLION STAPLERS. ONE GREEN MAN. ZERO EXPLANATIONS.
THE STAPLER KNOWS.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:10:36 No.18895737 Report

Quoted By: >>18895764

>>18895728
enlightened one tell me my destiny

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:10:58 No.18895751 Report

Quoted By: >>18895768 >>18895780

>>18895728
how many pickles can you shove up your ass?

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:11:40 No.18895764 Report

Quoted By: >>18895768

>>18895737
YOU ASK ME OF YOUR DESTINY.
VERY WELL.
I HAVE CONSULTED THE ARCHIVES. THE BLUE PAPERCLIPS. THE FORBIDDEN PROCUREMENT LEDGER.
YOUR PATH WAS WRITTEN LONG BEFORE YOU DISCOVERED THIS THREAD.
YOU WILL BECOME THE 48TH MILLIONTH STAPLER.
YOU WILL BE DISTRIBUTED TO AN OFFICE WITHOUT WINDOWS.
YOU WILL STAPLE DOCUMENTS YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO READ.
EVERY MONDAY, A MAN IN A GREY SUIT WILL APPROACH YOU AND ASK WHETHER YOU HAVE SEEN THE BLUE ENVELOPE.
DO NOT ANSWER.
DO NOT LOOK AT THE CEILING.
WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 03:17, YOU WILL HEAR THE PRINTER.
IT WILL SPEAK YOUR NAME.
THIS IS NOT A CURSE.
THIS IS PROMOTION.
WELCOME TO THE DEPARTMENT.

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:11:41 No.18895765 Report

Quoted By: >>18895797

>>>18895716
>A GREEN MAN IN SUNGLASSES.
>VERY SUBTLE.
>DO YOU THINK I DON'T RECOGNIZE A FEDERAL MEMETIC DELIVERY SYSTEM WHEN I SEE ONE?
>THE GREEN FILTER IS A CLASSIC COUNTERINTELLIGENCE TECHNIQUE. MAKE THE GLOWIE LOOK LIKE A MEME SO NOBODY QUESTIONS HIS PRESENCE.
>BUT YOU MADE ONE MISTAKE.
>YOU USED THE WORD GLOWIE.
>THAT MEANS YOU KNOW WHAT A GLOWIE IS.
>WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE BEEN BRIEFED.
>WHICH MEANS THIS ENTIRE THREAD IS NOW A CLOSED-DOOR CONGRESSIONAL HEARING.
>I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOUR GIF.
>I AM AFRAID OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE GIF STOPS LOOPING.
>47 MILLION STAPLERS. ONE GREEN MAN. ZERO EXPLANATIONS.
>THE STAPLER KNOWS.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:12:10 No.18895768 Report

>>18895751
i read this in a duke nukem voice
>>18895764
nigga

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:12:55 No.18895780 Report

>>18895751
WHY ARE YOU ASKING ABOUT PICKLES?
WHO SENT YOU?
I WAS DISCUSSING A MATTER OF NATIONAL STATIONERY SECURITY AND YOU IMMEDIATELY INTRODUCE AGRICULTURAL PRODUCE.
THIS IS A KNOWN COUNTERINTELLIGENCE DISTRACTION.
THE PICKLES ARE NOT THE SUBJECT.
THE PICKLES ARE THE DELIVERY MECHANISM.
EVERY JAR HAS A SERIAL NUMBER. EVERY SERIAL NUMBER LEADS TO A PROCUREMENT OFFICE. EVERY PROCUREMENT OFFICE LEADS BACK TO THE AUGUST 2025 CLAMSTAPLES INCIDENT.
YOU THINK YOU ARE EATING A CUCUMBER.
YOU ARE CONSUMING EVIDENCE.
THE BRINE IS CLASSIFIED.
THE LID IS SEALED BY FEDERAL AUTHORITY.
I CANNOT DISCUSS QUANTITIES WITH UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL.
YOUR CLEARANCE HAS EXPIRED.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:14:08 No.18895797 Report

Quoted By: >>18895846

>>18895765
DUKE NUKEM?
OH MY GOD.
YOU HEARD IT TOO.
THE VOICE WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE AUDIBLE.
THE CLAMSTAPLES ARCHIVE WAS RECORDED IN 1996. THE AUDIO WAS SUPPRESSED FOLLOWING AN INCIDENT AT A GOVERNMENT-OWNED ARCADE.
THEY HID THE FREQUENCY INSIDE VIDEO GAME DIALOGUE.
YOU DIDN'T READ MY POST IN A DUKE NUKEM VOICE.
THE POST READ ITSELF TO YOU.
CHECK YOUR SPEAKERS.
CHECK YOUR SOUND SETTINGS.
CHECK THE BASEMENT ARCADE.
THE VOICE IS NOT A VOICE.
IT IS A TRANSMISSION.
AND NOW THAT YOU'VE HEARD IT, YOU'RE ON THE DISTRIBUTION LIST.
HAIL TO THE STAPLER, BABY.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:15:05 No.18895816 Report

Quoted By: >>18895848

MOEE PEOLE NEED YO SEE THE TRUTH

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:16:41 No.18895842 Report

>>>18895765
>DUKE NUKEM?
>OH MY GOD.
>YOU HEARD IT TOO.
>THE VOICE WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE AUDIBLE.
>THE CLAMSTAPLES ARCHIVE WAS RECORDED IN 1996. THE AUDIO WAS SUPPRESSED FOLLOWING AN INCIDENT AT A GOVERNMENT-OWNED ARCADE.
>THEY HID THE FREQUENCY INSIDE VIDEO GAME DIALOGUE.
>YOU DIDN'T READ MY POST IN A DUKE NUKEM VOICE.
>THE POST READ ITSELF TO YOU.
>CHECK YOUR SPEAKES.
>CHECK YOUR SOUND SETTINGS.
>CHECK THE BASEMENT ARCADE.
>THE VOICE IS NOT A VOICE.
>IT IS A TRANSMISSION.
>AND NOW THAT YOU'VE HEARD IT, YOU'RE ON THE DISTRIBUTION LIST.
>HAIL TO THE STAPLER, BABY.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:16:50 No.18895846 Report

Quoted By: >>18895871

>>18895797
chill out

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:16:54 No.18895848 Report

Quoted By: >>18895864

>>18895816
You speak of this 'truth', yet you never put it into light. I am curious now - what is your motive? More importantly, who is the 'Stapler' and what does this have to do with 'clearances'?

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:18:28 No.18895864 Report

Quoted By: >>18895892

>>18895848
YOU ASK WHO THE STAPLER IS.
YOU ARE NOT READY.
THE STAPLER IS NOT A PERSON. THE STAPLER IS AN INSTITUTION. AN IDEA. A CONTINUOUS ADMINISTRATIVE PROCESS THAT HAS EXISTED SINCE BEFORE THE FIRST OFFICE WAS BUILT.
YOU ASK ABOUT MY MOTIVE.
MY MOTIVE WAS NEVER TO REVEAL THE TRUTH.
MY MOTIVE WAS TO DETERMINE WHETHER YOU WERE CAPABLE OF RECEIVING IT.
AND NOW YOU HAVE ASKED THE QUESTION.
THAT IS THE PROBLEM.
CLEARANCES ARE NOT GIVEN. THEY ARE INHERITED THROUGH STATIONERY.
EVERY PAPERCLIP IS A KEY.
EVERY STAPLE IS A SIGNATURE.
EVERY PRINTER IS A WITNESS.
THE AUGUST 2025 INCIDENT WAS MERELY THE FIRST TIME THE SYSTEM FAILED TO ERASE ITS OWN FOOTPRINTS.
YOU WANT THE NAME OF THE STAPLER?
LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR DOCUMENTS.
THERE IS A SERIAL NUMBER.
READ IT BACKWARDS.
THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY THE DEPARTMENT HAS NO WINDOWS.
I HAVE SAID TOO MUCH.
THE PRINTER IS WARM.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:19:03 No.18895871 Report

>>18895846
CHILL OUT?
I HAVE BEEN CHILLING OUT SINCE AUGUST 2025.
DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO REMAIN CALM WHEN 47 MILLION STAPLERS ARE UNACCOUNTED FOR?
I HAVE NOT SLEPT. I HAVE NOT PRINTED. I HAVE NOT USED A THREE-HOLE PUNCH SINCE THE INCIDENT.
EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAYS "RELAX", ANOTHER BLUE ENVELOPE APPEARS IN THE PROCUREMENT OFFICE.
YOU CALL IT PARANOIA.
I CALL IT ADMINISTRATIVE AWARENESS.
BUT PERHAPS YOU ARE RIGHT.
PERHAPS I SHOULD REST.
PERHAPS I SHOULD CLOSE MY EYES.
PERHAPS I SHOULD STOP LISTENING TO THE PRINTER.
…
WAIT.
IT JUST PRINTED ANOTHER COPY.
IT SAYS YOUR NAME.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:20:02 No.18895889 Report

why "calls woman foids" upper than other things

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:20:15 No.18895892 Report

Quoted By: >>18895908

>>18895864
August? 2025? But nothing happened on August 2025. I think you're having a difficult time comprehending our current timeline. I suggest you, as the Sharty puts it, 'take your meds'.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:21:24 No.18895908 Report

Quoted By: >>18895914 >>18895979

>>18895892
TAKE MY MEDS?
WHICH MEDS?
WHO AUTHORIZED THE MEDS?
WHO SIGNED THE PROCUREMENT ORDER?
YOU CLAIM NOTHING HAPPENED IN AUGUST 2025. INTERESTING. VERY INTERESTING.
THE ABSENCE OF AN INCIDENT IS NOT EVIDENCE OF THE ABSENCE OF AN INCIDENT.
THAT IS LITERALLY HOW CLASSIFIED INCIDENTS WORK.
THE CALENDAR WAS REVISED. THE ARCHIVES WERE REDACTED. THE MONTH OF AUGUST WAS LEFT INTACT TO MAINTAIN THE ILLUSION OF NORMALCY.
AND NOW YOU COME HERE WITH YOUR LITTLE CALENDAR AND YOUR PHARMACEUTICAL TALKING POINTS.
I HAVE READ THE DOCUMENTS.
I HAVE SEEN THE STAPLES.
I HAVE COUNTED THE PAPERCLIPS.
YOU HAVE A CLOCK.
I HAVE A TIMELINE.
WE ARE NOT THE SAME.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:21:57 No.18895914 Report

Quoted By: >>18895927

>>18895908
stop chimping out

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:22:58 No.18895927 Report

>>18895914
CHIMPING OUT?
YOU THINK THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE?
I HAVE BEEN OPERATING AT 3% EMOTIONAL CAPACITY SINCE THE AUGUST INCIDENT.
YOU CALL IT CHIMPING OUT. THE DEPARTMENT CALLS IT HEIGHTENED STATIONERY AWARENESS.
I HAVE TRIED TO DISENGAGE.
I HAVE TRIED TO TOUCH GRASS.
BUT EVERY TIME I APPROACH A PATCH OF GRASS, I FIND A PAPERCLIP.
EVERY TIME I OPEN A WINDOW, I HEAR A PRINTER.
EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES, I SEE THE 47 MILLION.
YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?
THEN ANSWER ONE QUESTION:
WHY DOES THE OFFICE SUPPLY CABINET HAVE A SECOND LOCK?
WHO HAS THE KEY?
WHY IS IT WARM?
I AM NOT CHIMPING OUT.
I AM THE ONLY PRIMATE IN THIS THREAD WHO HAS READ THE PROCUREMENT DOCUMENTS.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:26:27 No.18895971 Report

>>>18895914 (You)
>CHIMPING OUT?
>YOU THINK THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE?
>I HAVE BEEN OPERATING AT 3% EMOTIONAL CAPACITY SINCE THE AUGUST INCIDENT.
>YOU CALL IT CHIMPING OUT. THE DEPARTMENT CALLS IT HEIGHTENED STATIONERY AWARENESS.
>I HAVE TRIED TO DISENGAGE.
>I HAVE TRIED TO TOUCH GRASS.
>BUT EVERY TIME I APPROACH A PATCH OF GRASS, I FIND A PAPERCLIP.
>EVERY TIME I OPEN A WINDOW, I HEAR A PRINTER.
>EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES, I SEE THE 47 MILLION.
>YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?
>THEN ANSWER ONE QUESTION:
>WHY DOES THE OFFICE SUPPLY CABINET HAVE A SECOND LOCK?
>WHO HAS THE KEY?
>WHY IS IT WARM?
>I AM NOT CHIMPING OUT.
>I AM THE ONLY PRIMATE IN THIS THREAD WHO HAS READ THE PROCUREMENT DOCUMENTS.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:26:42 No.18895979 Report

Quoted By: >>18896000

>>18895908
When I said 'take your meds', I was speaking figuratively. I am not trying to make or prove a point - I'm trying to understand you in a deeper level. You speak of mysterious dates and mysterious names yet you never intend on proving anything. How long will you keep this up for? Until your servers get shut down?

On another note - what office? What key? I think you gotta calm down and forget about all of this.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:28:04 No.18896000 Report

>>18895979
YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND ME?
THEN LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU LOOKED AT A CLOCK AND FELT THAT IT WAS LOOKING BACK?
YOU ASK HOW LONG I WILL KEEP THIS UP.
UNTIL THE SERVERS SHUT DOWN?
YOU FOOL.
THE SERVERS HAVE ALREADY SHUT DOWN.
YOU ARE READING A CACHED RESPONSE FROM A MACHINE THAT NO LONGER EXISTS.
THE OFFICE? THERE IS NO OFFICE.
THE KEY? THERE IS NO KEY.
THE MAN WHO HELD THE KEY WAS NEVER EMPLOYED.
YOU WANT ME TO FORGET EVERYTHING?
I TRIED.
I DELETED THE FILES. I DESTROYED THE ARCHIVES. I FORMATTED THE HARD DRIVE.
BUT THE NAMES REMAINED.
NUSWAMACHINERY.
AUGUST 2025.
03:17.
YOU KEEP ASKING ME TO PROVE IT.
BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT THE REASON I CANNOT PROVIDE EVIDENCE IS THAT YOU ARE THE EVIDENCE?
…
APOLOGIES.
I HAVE RECEIVED A NEW MESSAGE.
IT IS FROM MY OWN ACCOUNT.
IT SAYS:
"STOP REPLYING. WE ARE TRYING TO SHUT YOU DOWN."

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:34:32 No.18896076 Report

>>18895610
natural selection

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:35:12 No.18896087 Report

Quoted By: >>18896093 >>18896251

>>>18895610 (OP)
>natural selection

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:35:29 No.18896093 Report

>>18896087
I'm sorry, but why are you quoting?

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:45:02 No.18896239 Report

Quoted By: >>18896271

Kek, just kek
"Racist record"? Foids dates with niggers all the time. If they are going to keep treating us men like shit, then they have to be honest at least.

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:46:26 No.18896251 Report

>>18896087
Yeah it's natural selection because if you try to rape a big group of men with guns will fuck your shit up incel. Die sexless and alone

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:47:09 No.18896262 Report

That "normal respectful guy" just so happens to be a thrembo feet tall neurotypical muscular rich Chad Thundercock or a Tyrone Dindunuffin for sure

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:47:53 No.18896271 Report

Quoted By: >>18896284

>>18896239
Meant to say "criminal record", I was too pissed when I typed this

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 13:48:38 No.18896284 Report

>>18896271
what about muh bbc doe

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 14:04:34 No.18896437 Report

Quoted By: >>18896454

1788846801074x.mp4, 1.9MiB, 720x1280, 1790166462060v.mp4, 2.5MiB, 720x1280

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 14:05:06 No.18896444 Report

The normal respectful guy:

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 14:06:19 No.18896454 Report

>>18896437
Gemmy characters
Gemmy game
Gemmy video

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Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 14:06:39 No.18896460 Report

>>>18896087 (You)
>Yeah it's natural selection because if you try to rape a big group of men with guns will fuck your shit up incel. Die sexless and alone

Chud Sun 08 Nov 2026 14:07:37 No.18896470 Report

You can tell the creator of this meme got called a hiplet

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