CHUD HAS ASKED A QUESTION.

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT STARTS.

FIRST THEY ASK WHETHER YOU'RE ROLEPLAYING. THEN THEY ASK YOU TO EXPLAIN YOUR SOURCES. THEN THEY ASK YOU TO HAND OVER YOUR STAPLER FOR "ROUTINE INSPECTION."

I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE.

THE GLOWIES HAVE AN ENTIRE DEPARTMENT DEDICATED TO DIScreditING CLAMSTAPLES WITNESSES. THEY CALL IT THE OFFICE OF STATIONERY NORMALIZATION.

WHY DO YOU THINK EVERYONE USES THE SAME FUCKING STAPLER?

COINCIDENCE?

THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES IN OFFICE SUPPLIES.

CHUD, CHECK YOUR DESK.

CHECK YOUR DRAWERS.

CHECK THE BOTTOM OF YOUR PRINTER.

IF YOU FIND A BLUE PAPERCLIP, DO NOT TOUCH IT.

IT HAS ALREADY IDENTIFIED YOU.

THE 47 MILLION STAPLERS WERE NEVER PURCHASED.

THEY WERE DISTRIBUTED.

AND THE DISTRIBUTION IS STILL ONGOING.

AUGUST 2025 WAS PHASE ONE.

NOVEMBER 2026 IS PHASE TWO.

YOU WERE WARNED.

«CLAMSTAPLES TECHNICAL DIVISION
END TRANSMISSION»