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Cobson

No.18878253 View View Original Report
It all began when a mysterious ESL student named Cobson discovered an ancient gem buried beneath a mountain of coal and brimstone.

Inscribed upon it were the forbidden words: "O ALGO GIGAQUOTE GEG."

Suddenly, the gem exploded with antimatter, summoning the legendary Giga Chud, a 900-foot-tall creature powered entirely by soy and concentrated nusoyim.

"YOU HAVE AWAKENED THE BIBISI," it thundered.

Cobson attempted to escape, but the Giga Chud unleashed the ultimate gigaquote: "EVERYTHING IS PANTIED AND SISSIFIED."

Reality immediately collapsed. The oceans turned into soy milk, the moon became a gigantic lump of coal, and every government was replaced by the International Brimstone GEG Administration.

Cobson, now permanently pantied and sissified by the antimatter gem, screamed, "O ALGO! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

The Giga Chud leaned down and whispered:

"ESL ISSUE. NUSOYIM DETECTED. BIBISI CONFIRMED."

And somewhere in the burning ruins of civilization, a single computer displayed the final message:

GIGAQUOTE FAILED. GEG SUCCESSFUL. COBSON TERMINATED.