I've noticed that I have this weird kind of cuck mentality went it comes to social interactions. I feel an odd sense of happiness and jealously whenever I hear about one of my friends succeeding socially. Like I wish I was in their position but understand I'm not and almost enjoy that idea. This isn't sexual, to be clear, it's more of a general feeling of elation and comfort. It's like when you're excited about something happening. I think this comes from having to constantly hear other people talk about their social lives. I have good hearing and I always heard people talking about everything they were doing while in class or at lunch. It was depressing to always be sitting by yourself while everyone around you ranted about how great their life was. Recently I've started to have some social interaction with people and I've pretty much embraced the role of "weird guy who can't interact with people but will show you some cool stuff". I don't mind it honestly, I can't and kinda don't want to connect with people normally.