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I was bedridden depressed my senior year of high school. 2021 through early 2023 was pure mental agony. I had some bad online friendships I needed to end. I loved those friends but they were assholes to each other, other people, and sometimes me. I still love them deep down, from a distance, but I can never talk to them again. No it wasn’t a gay love, just a deep bond I felt. It’s strange being around people that make you suicidal yet you feel a kinship to them.