I grew up in a Christian family, and everyone I knew was Christian from birth. I went to church every Sunday, and sometimes on Wednesdays as well. However, I remember doubting whether God really existed from a young age (around 5 years old). Eventually, I grew tired of religion. I hated church, but I still prayed to God every night. I was even saved and baptized. Despite that, I would not count myself as a true believer. I couldn't "understand" God. I couldn’t wrap my head around who or what God was at all, or what His plan for me was. Ultimately, I stopped going to church completely. I hardly pray anymore these days. Is there any benefit to becoming a more devout Christian? I confided this to my father a while ago, and he finally couldn't take it anymore and told me that even if God exists, His love isn't distributed equally. So, murderers, rapists, and pedophiles get away with everything, while believers can make a small mistake at work and instantly become homeless. What do you think? Does God enjoy watching us suffer?