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tldr; im imagining fake negative things in my head because my brain is addicted to negativity and i want to stop.
Is anyone else's brain so addicted to negativity that the brain comes up with imaginations containing very negative scenarios that upset you?
And those imaginations are not tied to reality at all, its not something like worrying about money or career or politics, or something worth worrying about.
I have nonsensical hypothetical imaginary scenarios often. I wont get into detail but its something like being in some imaginery world in some wilderness and there are a bunch of people there and they hurt me or socially exclude me, this makes me feel the sensations of rejection, humiliation, bullying and loneliness that my brain keeps playing over and over again, sometimes if its extreme those people start attacking me physically because of how much they hate me, and since my brain comes up with such scenarios those imaginery people know my worst flaws and sins, insecurities and generally everything bad about me so their words hurt me deeply. And I'm not crazy or delusional, i 100% know that these are just imaginations and not real at all, but that doesn't stop me from feeling sad and crying from those imaginations. I know how stupid all of this sounds, and I really, really want to stop having these imaginations, but I can't; my brain is addicted to the whatever brain chemicals get produced from me feeling intense feelings of self-hatred, imagined violence and gore, exclusion, rejection, loneliness and general sadness.
I think my biggest problem is intrusive thought rumination. The cure, I think, is mindfulness and staying in the present moment, but I'm mentally too weak to do that. I'm thinking that pills will really help me, but going to a psychiatrist sounds scary, and pills might be expensive in my shithole country.
I would be at so much peace and happiness if I stopped having these imaginations and I could just focus on living my life, appreciating the beauty of the present and working towards building a better life.
Is anyone else's brain so addicted to negativity that the brain comes up with imaginations containing very negative scenarios that upset you?
And those imaginations are not tied to reality at all, its not something like worrying about money or career or politics, or something worth worrying about.
I have nonsensical hypothetical imaginary scenarios often. I wont get into detail but its something like being in some imaginery world in some wilderness and there are a bunch of people there and they hurt me or socially exclude me, this makes me feel the sensations of rejection, humiliation, bullying and loneliness that my brain keeps playing over and over again, sometimes if its extreme those people start attacking me physically because of how much they hate me, and since my brain comes up with such scenarios those imaginery people know my worst flaws and sins, insecurities and generally everything bad about me so their words hurt me deeply. And I'm not crazy or delusional, i 100% know that these are just imaginations and not real at all, but that doesn't stop me from feeling sad and crying from those imaginations. I know how stupid all of this sounds, and I really, really want to stop having these imaginations, but I can't; my brain is addicted to the whatever brain chemicals get produced from me feeling intense feelings of self-hatred, imagined violence and gore, exclusion, rejection, loneliness and general sadness.
I think my biggest problem is intrusive thought rumination. The cure, I think, is mindfulness and staying in the present moment, but I'm mentally too weak to do that. I'm thinking that pills will really help me, but going to a psychiatrist sounds scary, and pills might be expensive in my shithole country.
I would be at so much peace and happiness if I stopped having these imaginations and I could just focus on living my life, appreciating the beauty of the present and working towards building a better life.
