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dealing with tragedy

No.82314 View View Original Report
help me deal with this, please.
my gf was raped when she was 5-8 years old. because of this, she developed BPD.
i was her first kiss but i had to leave the country, so i cant rake care of her anymore.
Yesterday she ignored me for a full day and i exploded and said some.. nasty things about her.
i think about her (and her uncle) day and night. she told me before i blocked her that she decided on suicide (she has 2 attempts).
Help me. Im on the heights of despair. I want to die.