I used to be a neo-Nazi, more specifically an Esoteric Hitlerist. I left once I found out that an unknown grandfather turned out to be Mexican. I walked away from the movement, but I still can't leave the mindset of my self-worth being tied to European ancestry. I just keep thinking and debating with myself on how much non-European ancestry I have, and I'm driving myself insane trying to guess. I feel like I lost everything: my identity, my community, my faith, and my purpose. I don't know how to continue with these feelings of loss. What do I do? (other than ack) Also it genuinely was a surprise because my parent that is half Mexican half white doesn't have any non-white phenotype traits and neither do me or my brother.