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Until 3 years ago, my life sucked, but I also put no effort in so it was like "I guess I deserve it idk".
But 3 years ago I decided to get my shit together. I tried taking antidepressants, exercise, tried making a video game, tried learning a language, tried cold showers, tried meditating, tried breathwork, tried sprinting, tried carnivore diet, tried quitting sugar & porn. And somehow I don't feel any better.
This might sound schizo but I think somehow my body & mind don't want to get better. Like my brain actually wants me to be a fag loser who lies in bed and watches YT shorts all day. When I do that, I look healthier, I sleep easier, I have no inflammation, I'm calmer, I'm happier. It's really confusing. It's like I was set up to fail.
But 3 years ago I decided to get my shit together. I tried taking antidepressants, exercise, tried making a video game, tried learning a language, tried cold showers, tried meditating, tried breathwork, tried sprinting, tried carnivore diet, tried quitting sugar & porn. And somehow I don't feel any better.
This might sound schizo but I think somehow my body & mind don't want to get better. Like my brain actually wants me to be a fag loser who lies in bed and watches YT shorts all day. When I do that, I look healthier, I sleep easier, I have no inflammation, I'm calmer, I'm happier. It's really confusing. It's like I was set up to fail.
