> Be me
> Self-taught in everything because teachers in my brimmstone country are dogshit and I have no money for online ones.
> I'm good at learning by myself, and I like it, just extremely inconsistent.
> Either I go full workaholic for weeks (hyperfocus one topic until I master it, then forget everything else from lack of practice)
or I rot for weeks straight.
> Tried all the normie stuff already.
> "Kill decision fatigue, break it into tiny chunks" the whole routine. Hell, I even make full mind maps: what to learn, when, which materials, how to use them.
> Still, when it's time to actually start… I just don't want to.

During the rotting periods there's this sort of "invisible wall" stopping me. Even if I want to work, my brain just refuses, same way you couldn't force yourself to touch a hot oven even if you wanted.
Most professionals have bosses, assistants (or wives) that force them through this wall. and while I have none, but thought about finding some sort of "monitoring" pal who checks that I'm actually working, but nobody does that for free long-term, and paid versions aren't an option. Therefore unless I find a practical way to get someone who does this I'm all alone at this.
Outside of this I have absolutely no more ideas to try. Any anons actually broke this boom-bust cycle? got any ideas or adice to guide?