>>1057982>that'll just make me even more insufferable to whom? you have to do it for yourself, you dont have to like people who dont like you already.
>i think lying to myself about being loved is one of the major reasons i have paranoia in the first place i'd prefer to not live with that>i don't think i have any purpose soBut you are loved, by me at least and there are a lot of people who also love people they have never met. There is a little bit of Jesus in you aswell even if you dont want to see it, even if you think you are an unlovable freak. I will try to love you still as i love people who are far worse than you and who have even hurt me a lot.
There are many people who love everyone regardless of everything, you just have to try to find them and try to accept that love
>nothing is never too late>pretty sure this is a lie of course it isnt, you are 19, you have your whole life ahead, you can pretty much do A LOT OF THINGS, good and bad and maybe you wont know if they are good and bad unless you try them (some thing are definetly bad, like drugs and suicide so dont do those btw). You can move to a different country, you can get a pet and make it your friend, you can go swimming in beautiful rivers and beaches, you can try to meet so many different people all around the world and the net, everyday is a chance to find a new thing to thank God for.
I dont know you OP and maybe you dont know you aswell try to make yourself your first friend, introduce yourself to you. Maybe you dont like something about yourself, if you dont and can you can try to change it. Maybe you think everything sucks OP but what about staying in bed when you are really tired and when you find a funny video funny. Small moments matter, your whole day is a collection of small moments, some good some bad. If you see your future as something dark, then dont try to see the future, you cant tell anything there. Live day by day OP if you need anything there are plenty of people who will help you, priests are free also, but you can also try therapy or maybe speaking with your family and if you feel rn that you cant do anything then come here like you did today or somewhere else. Keep going OP i love you
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