Genuinely if I could just use soyspeak and slurs I think it would roll off my tongue better, but I have to on top of making it sound normal. I've been getting more confident lately and it's somehow working but I'm not sure it's improving my social skills and building meaningful relationships like I hoped. The interests I end up sharing haphazardly are more meaningless shit I dissonantly occupy myself with to rot the neurons out of my head and the people who reciprocate are retarded goyslaves who revolve their life around said thing or it among a collection of others. Honestly I'd be better off removing these things from my life and throwing myself into conversations with more important topics like philosophy or politics. But usually I fumble the same if not worse and the social consequences are much heavier. If you don't know something about an information topic, you are underinformed, but if you can't articulate your opinions on the nature of creation, then you are retarded nigger with no original thoughts who should kill himself because he offers no conversational value to anyone. Plus people willing to sit down and have a civil conversation with someone they don't know about those things is hard. Fuuuuuuuck. Sometimes I think I've went my entire life trying to fit in with intelligent people but I'm really just an ambitionless midwit who's too stubborn to take his place among those destined to be mediocre.
