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>October 2026
>Log in
>Cloudflare decides it wants a little extra to datamine me
>I am told that i can only use Google Chrome to use this site
>Logs in on Google Chrome
>Dr. Soyberg changes to a gif of a guy crawling on the floor with their organs leaking out
>Sites favicon is now DNB
>Sighs
>Check /soy/
>Instantly shown DD gifs
>Subtitle is a link to Salts favorite cp "gemmy"
>Banner is Tom Pearl eating his shit
>To verify my IP i need to slice my pecker from the top down and send it to salts email
>Sighs
>Verifies and sends it
>I am told to use a 3DS Camera instead of my phone
>Sighs
>Gets a new picture with my 3DS
>Approved
>First post i see is a OGD gigaquote
>>tfw i rape a decapitated cunnygem head and my cum shoots out of her mouth
>Sighs
>Supersage the post
>>Your IP has been detected as a VPN. If this was a mistake, message "admin" on Soybooru.com.
>Sighs
>Logs back in without a VPN
>Supersages the post again
>Banned for disrespecting "MapGQDs" + Didnt read the rules
>Sighs
>Checks /rules/
>>RULE 1: You will not disrespect pedophilia and gore on the site.
>Sighs
>Goes back to /soy/
>Salts trans girlfriend makes a stickied post
>>Good morning soyjak.st, me and my bf have decided tor remove all the posts except, /soy/. Which has now been replaced with /caf/ - Cute and Funny. We have also added the namefield to the board <3.
>Sighs
>A large list of IPs are posted on the site
>>If you have supersaged a post and the sage made my gock leak, your IP is now permamently on archived.st.
>Suddenly my pc starts automatically downloading strange mp4s
>Its DD
>Sighs
>Goes to the swinny
>>THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN SEIZED BY SALTIST ORDER
>Goes to the posty
>>THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN SEIZED BY SALTIST ORDER
>Goes to the summy
>>THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN SEIZED BY SALTIST ORDER
>Sighs
>Go back to soyjak.party
>I am met with Map Verity taking up 50% of my screen.
>Audibly shout "What the fuck?"
>Realize that my microphone was enabled without my permission
>Map Verity leaks my address
>Sighs
>Suddenly police cars show up at my frontyard
>Its the UTTP Larpers from the booru coming
>Log in
>Cloudflare decides it wants a little extra to datamine me
>I am told that i can only use Google Chrome to use this site
>Logs in on Google Chrome
>Dr. Soyberg changes to a gif of a guy crawling on the floor with their organs leaking out
>Sites favicon is now DNB
>Sighs
>Check /soy/
>Instantly shown DD gifs
>Subtitle is a link to Salts favorite cp "gemmy"
>Banner is Tom Pearl eating his shit
>To verify my IP i need to slice my pecker from the top down and send it to salts email
>Sighs
>Verifies and sends it
>I am told to use a 3DS Camera instead of my phone
>Sighs
>Gets a new picture with my 3DS
>Approved
>First post i see is a OGD gigaquote
>>tfw i rape a decapitated cunnygem head and my cum shoots out of her mouth
>Sighs
>Supersage the post
>>Your IP has been detected as a VPN. If this was a mistake, message "admin" on Soybooru.com.
>Sighs
>Logs back in without a VPN
>Supersages the post again
>Banned for disrespecting "MapGQDs" + Didnt read the rules
>Sighs
>Checks /rules/
>>RULE 1: You will not disrespect pedophilia and gore on the site.
>Sighs
>Goes back to /soy/
>Salts trans girlfriend makes a stickied post
>>Good morning soyjak.st, me and my bf have decided tor remove all the posts except, /soy/. Which has now been replaced with /caf/ - Cute and Funny. We have also added the namefield to the board <3.
>Sighs
>A large list of IPs are posted on the site
>>If you have supersaged a post and the sage made my gock leak, your IP is now permamently on archived.st.
>Suddenly my pc starts automatically downloading strange mp4s
>Its DD
>Sighs
>Goes to the swinny
>>THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN SEIZED BY SALTIST ORDER
>Goes to the posty
>>THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN SEIZED BY SALTIST ORDER
>Goes to the summy
>>THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN SEIZED BY SALTIST ORDER
>Sighs
>Go back to soyjak.party
>I am met with Map Verity taking up 50% of my screen.
>Audibly shout "What the fuck?"
>Realize that my microphone was enabled without my permission
>Map Verity leaks my address
>Sighs
>Suddenly police cars show up at my frontyard
>Its the UTTP Larpers from the booru coming
