>>4132538im hateful
i feel like it's a part of
me
and the more i grow and the more time passes the bigger this hate grows
ever since i was a little boy
i had fear
i feared when people made fun of me, or attacked me, or antsgonized me, because i feared myself, i was the bigger kid, i could easily do something, but i didn't want to hurt anyone, i didn't want to be bad, to make bad things
i wanted to be peaceful
this pacifizity with time started to break, and the build up of wanting to punch back started to grow, and grow, and grow
and that fear and sadness of myself became hate for others
why would they even target me in the first place? i know im better, stronger, smarter
but they don't know
because i not only was scared to attack back but talk back
people don't know me, because i don't know how to talk
people may think im dumb or stupid or weak or even gay for being too pacive
too restrained
but i feel like its everything i have
if i wasn't shy restrained quiet and calm i feel like im going to lose it
and i don't want to do that
people have said im smart or strong or intelligent or attractive or whatever, but none of that matters, because I can't leave my pod
my little wormbed
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