Archives: [soy / pol / r9k / qa / tech / q / raid / a / int / x / r / v / mtv / news / asp / an / biz / bait / bunker / caca / chive / fit / fnac / g / gem / giga5 / hobby / jak / jiren / ohio / plier / ptb / sci / shrk / sneed / soya / ss / sude / tv / yyyyyyy / b / bant / fap / giga / incel / muv / nate / qst / suggest / webm]
Update 2026-09-24: Over 2.3 million posts from the Kolyma-era Log Warehouse have been imported into the archive.
[2 / 2 / 1]

Police Hunt Lionel Messi After Bizarre Vienna Robbery

No.30141 View View Original Report
In a bizarre turn of events police are hunting world renowned football superstar Lionel Messi after robbing an elderly man in Vienna.

The crime happened around 8 o´clock in the morning, when a 78 year old man was robbed by Inter Miami superstar Messi at the Vienna subway station Margaretengürtel. The suspect is said to have approached the unsuspecting man near a flight of stairs before abruptly pushing him downstairs.
The 78 year old fell down the steps and remained motionless on the floor. Lionel Messi allegedly then stole the wallet from the elderly man’s trousers and fled the scene.
A witness discovered the motionless man and immediately called an ambulance and the police. Video footage depicting the heinous acts of Lionel Messi could be recovered.

Here a short description of the perpetrator:
A 39 year old man with a height of 170cm and of medium build. He has dark hair and was wearing his football jersey with his name on it, dark trousers and football shoes.

Anyone with information is urged to immediately contact the Viennese police.

Since the incident, nobody has reportedly seen Messi. Speculation about the motive is already running wild on the internet. Some suspect that the football superstar may have suffered a sudden financial crisis and desperately needed the pensioner’s money.

The Inter Miami press team has so far refused to issue a public statement regarding the shocking incident involving their superstar.