I've been exposed to pornography at the age of 6 or 7, been masturbating and orgasming long before I could produce cum.

My teenage sister was obsessed with the idea of having a feminine gay brother (women, huh?) and tried to groom me into becoming one. I was convinced that I am gay and was masturbating to all kinds of gay porn at the age of 10.

When puberty hit, I dropped the whole "gay phase" and started mostly jerking off to straight porn. You'd think that I was a total coomer addict by then, but surprisingly no, I only did it once a week due to my low testosterone levels.

Went through growing up like any normal guy, had crushes on girls. Was relentlessly bullied throughout all of High School, lost all my confidence and have not recovered since.

Normal porn was soon no longer enough, so I started jerking off to more extreme shit - rule 34, furry, gay furry, sissy, big cocks etc. Attempted nofap many times, but always failed after a week or so.

In the last two days, I have masturbated to the thought of being a submissive slut and sucking someone's dick about 5 times. What turns me on the most is how easy it would be, I'm objectively good looking and i know there are tons of desperate men and trans woman on cords.

The thing is, I would rather unironically kms than act on any of these urges. I'm not a faggot. I want to have a normal life. I want to be able to look my chad father in the eyes.

Is it over for me? Should I just end this and let my coom fried brain rest forever? Is there hope?