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No.13600 View View Original Report
>chainsaws for magic ammo
>shoots epic Arachnotron™ weakpoint after lining up shot for 5 seconds while dashing side to side because pro Quake™ skills
>retarded door opening cutscene plays
>"Mhmm....rip and tear.. looks like the Hell Priest™ is nearby.. I will rip and tear because I am the ancient Doom Slaya™
>"Come on, Vega™"
>follows Skyrim™ compass
>Picks up 10 epic fanfiction-tier lore dumps about how badass the Slaya™ is on the way
>Door locks behind the Slaya™ and demons appear
>cacophony of retarded monster noises while the fart synth kicks into action
>chainsaws for magic ammo
>"Rip and tear" WUBWUBWUBBWAMBWAMDUUUUUNUUUUNUUHHHNHUHHH *Uses Flame Belch™ on a deliberately spawned group of Possessed™ and they become Staggered™, does a badass Heat Blast™ and Armor Shards™ fly into the Slaya™'s face*
>chainsaws for magic ammo
>switches weapons 75 times
>dashes aimlessly waiting for a Possessed™ to spawn
>chainsaws for magic ammo
>swings on monkey bars
>performs impse
>250 arena laps and 150 chainsaw uses later the Slaya™ is victorious
>Mhmm.. The Hell Priest™ is not here.. Better tell Samuel Hayden™ about this
>"Come on, Vega™" >Walks two meters and Alien Queen™ appears in an epic cutscene
>"You will not defeat me, Slaya™, I am the Emperor of the Universe and you are nothing but a Usurper™, the Kar En Kuk™ Council of Elder Alien Space Sentinel Argent D' Nur™ has banished you from the alien kingdom and I will defeat you!"
>Cut to black and level ends before epic boss fight so player can process how epic this is and maybe make a Reddit™ post about it before carrying on
>DUNDUNDUNBWAMBWAMBWAM Mick Gordon farting BAM BAM BAM 50 ACTION POINTS 5 CRUCIBLE CREDIT SENTINEL SHIP ARGENT RECEIVED