It’s the dad generation. Dad jokes. Dadposting. Ironic dad worship. A lot of dad talk going around these days. Dad is a soundboard. I won’t be a part of it. Somewhere in America a modern dad searches for his soul. Someone routing their IP through seven child porn tombs sees someone say the word dad on the internet and he grins knowingly to himself. Those who get used to hell become demons. Those who can’t awake from their nightmares become ghosts.

Sprinkle insect bits into your life and complain about a refund. A 13 year old with the screen name “dadwave” tees up the ultimate take: “the die hard series has the exact same chronology as the terminator franchise.” He doesn’t believe what he is saying, and he doesn’t believe anything is real.